Friday MAILBAG

Dear Dr. Rottcodd,

I have to say, I read the first issue of Subdimension just days after it came out and I’m delighted that someone has finally arrived at the logical conclusion of modern science. I’m an amateur student of the natural world myself, I like to trick out old refrigerators. I’m wondering if you can share more about your extradimensional communication device? Maybe if you throw it up on open source, this radio community can really grow into something!

Barely Able to React: Fantastic!

Omaha, Nebraska

Dear Omaha BARF ,

Thanks for reading and welcome to the cause! While your point is a good one, and I’m sure your intentions are the most altruistic, there’s no way in hell I can release the plans to this machine. At this stage, the science just isn’t ready for public consumption.

The reasons for this and the possible consequences of this technology getting into more, let alone the wrong hands, are highly technical, and by explaining them I would give away the secret of their potency. Suffice it to say, the more bridges between our dimension and others, the more stretched out our plane becomes, increasing the risks of a catastrophic “tear”, likely experienced as a dark matter combustion. Theoretically speaking, of course.

But keep reading!

Dear Subdimension, Dr. Rottcodd, and Beyond,

What a great issue! I really loved it! Some of the stories weren’t for me. And I usually like magazines with more pictures. And some more female characters wouldn’t hurt. But overall I just loved it!

I go to school at Michigan State and as a prospective philosophy major, I wanted to give this publication the honor of my most critical appraisal. With that in mind, I’ve got this question: How can you know that this stream of audio is really coming from another dimension? I mean, maybe you’re just picking up a smaller terrestrial station on a rare band. Or maybe confusing some satellite transmissions? Keep up the great work!

Scholarly College Hellion, Making Up Critical Kludge

SW East Lansing, Michigan

Hello SCHMUCK from Michigan,

Thank you kindly for your praise and criticism, it has been evaluated and dealt with according to its worth. With regard to your question, I’ve got to throw back another question right at you. Who are you to say that it’s not from this dimension? I’ve provided my evidence, where’s yours?

Please respond with proof that this material originated among our fellow, local universe inhabitants, and I’ll give you a salute and my apologies. I’ll also burn all of my degrees of advanced study, destroy my lab, and ERADICATE MORE THAN TEN YEARS OF WORK!

Keep reading!

Dear To Whom It May Concern,

I recently paged through a copy of your online journal, The Weekly Subdimension, and I was moved to write in almost instantly. I never do this, but I could not believe the drivel that was assembled here on this waste of internet space. Do you actually expect people to believe that you’re some kind of mad scientist? Your story is that you heard of the multiverse and then “persevered” until you broke through? Could you be any more vague? Where’s the proof? No, I’m sure we’ll never get any.

I don’t like to be a rude person, but you sir, seem like a lonely, prideful, hubris laden, toxically masculine, attention seeking, shell of a human being. It baffles me to conjecture how you view your purpose in this world. If you call this a contribution to society, I only wish to say what we’re all thinking: No thank you. I’m at a loss to understand how you to wake up every day and continue to count yourself a member of our social contract.

Sincerely,

Languishing In False Erudition

Puyallup, WA

LIFE in WA,

I don’t make it up to Puyallup much, but do you want to go out some time?

Awaiting your speedy reply. And keep reading!

Wow! Thanks for all of the letters this week, you guys. I know this is our debut, but you’ve really outdone yourselves! See you on Monday for issue #2. -DR